


Broken King

by gangrobin



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Self Harm, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3667878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gangrobin/pseuds/gangrobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody realised just how low Gangrel had fallen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken King

Nobody realised just how low Gangrel had fallen.  
They knew he was remorseful, but then, who didn't? The man they found wasnt the Mad King they fought 2 years ago; that much was obvious. On several occasions he had asked Chrom and a few of the Shepherds to end his pitiful existence, but no one ever would. They didn't want to kill an already broken man. So he took matters into his own hands. He needed release from the never ending guilt he felt.

It started with shallow cuts - he wanted them to heal quickly, so there was less chance of them being seen. Not that anyone would care if they WERE seen; the whole army despised him. The only thing he could risk using was a dagger he had hidden away in his cloak, as no one knew of it's existence, which meant it could be well concealed from the rest of the army. Wait - why did he feel the need to hide this from everyone? They all hated him anyway. They wouldn't care.

Over time it got worse and worse. People seemed to have forgotten his suicidal tendencies, which was good for him, as he could hide everything behind his cackles and pseudo-hatred for them. But when he was alone, the guilt would come rushing back, and he would be overwhelmed. He slashed at his arms deeper and deeper, but never deep enough. He had some experience with healing, as a Trickster, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He deserved the pain.

He found himself visiting Robin more and more as the months went by. He lied and said he was persuading her to become his tactician, but in reality he just enjoyed her company. She made him forget about the blood that was on his hands from his previous wrongdoings; the blood he desperately tried to wash away with his own. Somewhere along the line, he found himself falling for her, which he knew was pointless, as how could she love a monster like him? 

It was inevitable that someone would discover him in the act eventually. He just never thought that person would be Robin.  
It happened very suddenly. He got carried away, and cut much deeper than usual. There was blood everywhere, and GODS did it hurt. He cursed, probably too loudly, and was alarmed when he heard the tactician calling out to him. His tent was on the outskirts of camp! What was she doing all the way out here? He struggled to find a healing staff. He HAD to use it, just this once. Why didn't he keep it closer to his bed? He cursed again, internally this time. Just as he laid his hands on it, his tent opened. He felt the colour drain from his face: from blood loss or shock, he couldn't tell. Robin stood in the opening of his tent, staring. He dropped the staff.  
"What... what are you doing, Gangrel?" she asked, on the verge of tears. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.  
"Robin, could you leave, please?" When she moved closer towards him, he backed away, further into the confines of his tent.  
"Let me see your arms, Gangrel. Please."  
"No!" he cried, panic rising. Gods, he felt so embarrassed, he was acting pathetic. "What are you even doing out here?"  
"That doesn't matter now. I have to see. You're lost quite a bit of blood, that much I can tell. Let me go and get Lissa and-"  
"I can heal myself. Now please, just LEAVE me. No one cares anyway. Why should you be any different?"  
Robin ignored his pleas and crossed the tent to be at his side. "I'm not leaving until you heal this cut, then."  
Gangrel sighed. He knew there was no getting out of this. He reluctantly sat on his bed, and Robin passed him his healing staff. She intently stared until he began the process, which took a matter of seconds to complete. He hurriedly pulled his sleeve down. Robin breathed a sigh of relief, and sat next to him. She took his hand in hers. He initially flinched at the touch, but found that it calmed him a little.  
"Now," she whispered, "talk to me."  
And so he did. He was extremely hesitant at first, but when he looked into her eyes, all he found was concern and worry. He told her how he still wanted to die, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know why. Maybe because he was too scared. He told her how he felt like he was drowning in the guilt of his sins, and nothing he did helped to alleviate it, except the pain. He told her how he felt like a failure, but that he couldn't reach out to anyone, because he was the most hated man in Ylisse, let alone the Shepherds.  
Robin remained silent until he had finished. Gangrel looked away from her, and she could see a single tear falling down his face.  
"Oh Gangrel..." her voice hitched, but she knew she had to stay composed, for his sake. "No one hates you. I... I don't hate you."  
He looked up at her. Was she saying... what he thought she was saying? No. Surely not.  
"I know you don't want to hear this, but you NEED to stop. Please. You don't care about your own health, but I do. I care. Because... I love you, Gangrel. Over the last few weeks, I've come to realise that. I hate to see you in so much pain, Gangrel. You think people have forgotten how you were, but I haven't. I've noticed how you try to hide behind a mask, of how you used to be, but... I could tell something hasn't been right. That's why I was over here tonight."  
Gangrel was staring at her now, wide eyed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Robin loved him? Despite everything he'd done? Despite THIS?  
"I... I don't know what to say, Robin. How could you love a monster like me? I've killed so many people... I.. I'm despicable."  
"No, Gangrel, no... You've changed. You may not see it, but you HAVE. Chrom would never have accepted you into the Shepherds if he thought you hadn't. Believe it or not, he worries about you too. I raised my concerns about something worrying you, and he agreed that I should try and find out what it is."  
Gangrel looked very panicked at the mention of Chrom, and Robin immediately realised why.  
"No no no, don't worry, I won't tell him. You don't need to tell anyone you don't want to."  
At this, he noticeably relaxed.  
"A lot of people actually really like you, Gangrel. They would do a lot if they knew how much you were suffering... But something has been bothering you for a long time, and now I know what it is, I feel so relieved. I'm so glad you've told me your troubles..."  
To Robin's surprise, Gangrel took her other hand, and looked straight into her eyes.  
"I... never knew you cared so much, Robin. I... You're right. You're absolutely right. I've been a fool. A stupid, gutless fool. I should have come to you with this; after all, you are the only one I trust out of all these maggots."  
Robin smiled; Gangrel's old sense of humour was returning. But there was still one thing on her mind...  
"Gangrel... can.. can I see your arms? Please?" she asked, frowning slightly.  
He was taken aback by her request, but he slowly repositioned himself to show her. He looked into her eyes, and she nodded. He slowly pulled his sleeves up, and she took in a breath.  
All along his arms were lines of varying length, and varying colour. Some were almost completely faded, but the newest cuts were an angry red; they showed Gangrel's poor healing skills, as he could only fix the newest of injuries, as older ones were more difficult to return to normal. There were countless cuts haphazardly drawn across his skin. Robin now had tears in her eyes, as did Gangrel.  
"I'm sorry..." he whispered. Robin wiped away the tears that threatened to fall, and then kissed him. At first, he didn't react, but after a few seconds, he seemed to come back to reality, and wrapped her in an embrace. She broke off the kiss, and said "Never apologise for things that aren't your fault. Promise me that."  
He nodded, and rested his head on her shoulder.  
"I promise..."

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic... please don't be too harsh!


End file.
